In a world where success is often measured by reaching milestones, I find myself at a major turning point in my life. I have just earned my Master's degree, a significant accomplishment for me and an even more remarkable one for my family. I am the first person in my family to achieve this educational milestone. This achievement means the world to me, and I owe it all to my parents' unwavering support.
I can vividly recall my school days when my father used to tell me, "Before settling down, stand on your own feet, be independent so that you won't have to bend to anyone." He emphasized the importance of education from the very beginning. As the eldest child, I witnessed his dedication to ensuring that we received the best education. He worked tirelessly to send us to school every day, emphasizing the value of not missing a single day.
While some people found it amusing to take a day off from school for weddings or gatherings, my father was resolute in his belief that school came first because marriage ceremonies would come around again, but missed classes wouldn't. My mother has been my rock, always by my side, and providing constant support. Having them as my parents has been my greatest advantage.
I noticed a prevailing societal perception when I finished school, as many of my cousins and schoolmates were getting engaged and married. People often assumed that Muslim girls were expected to marry shortly after turning 18 years old. When I entered college, one of the first questions people asked was whether I was married. I believe that this idea of an ideal age for marriage for girls is a societal construct. Islam places great importance on girls' education and doesn't specify a particular age for marriage. People have interpreted this, as creating a norm for girls themselves.
Throughout my undergraduate years, the pressure to get married started to mount, particularly at social gatherings, where my relatives would question my mother about my marriage and the value of my education. My mother was quick to respond, firmly asserting that they were not in search of a groom for me, and education was of paramount importance for my future.
However, the pandemic brought about unexpected changes. My regular college transformed into a virtual one, and a significant portion of my life was reduced to a computer screen. I completed my undergraduate studies online while many of my cousins and friends suddenly got married. Just as we used to hide our test scores as kids to avoid comparison, I began to ignore wedding invitations, as peer pressure began to affect my father, who started discussing my marriage more frequently.
My postgraduate journey is a story in itself. I initially wanted to pursue a Master's in Philosophy, but due to some complications with my undergraduate results, I wasn't sure. Instead, I opted for a Master's in Political Science and attempted admission at prestigious institutions like JNU and DU, but wasn't successful. This was a discouraging time, and when I shared the results with my father, his initial reaction was to consider looking for a groom.
I was not ready for this suggestion, as marriage was not on my mind at all. To sidestep the marriage topic, I explored alternative options and stumbled upon IGNOU. I knew I could try again later, but I didn't want to waste any time. So, as a situational escape, I enrolled in a Master's in Women and Gender Studies driven by my enduring passion for gender studies. Although my father was displeased with my choice of subject, as always, he supported my decision.
Before completing my master's degree, I secured a job making me an independent working woman with a postgraduate degree. As I look to the future armed with this achievement, I am filled with a sense of purpose. I understand that my journey doesn't end here, it's just the beginning of greater things to come. I hope that my story can inspire others, especially girls in my family and beyond, to chase their dreams and overcome the barriers that may stand in their way.
In the end, completing my Master's degree and being the first girl in my family to do so is not just a personal achievement but a collective triumph. This Master's degree is more than just a piece of paper. It represents countless hours of hard work, self-study, and overcoming self-doubt. It's a testament to the strength of character I've developed throughout this journey and the support of those who believed in me. Most importantly, it symbolizes the breaking of barriers in my family and the hope it offers to future generations. My journey continues, and I am excited to see where it will lead me next.