India is often hailed as a “youth dominated nation,” with over 400 million young people, more than the entire population of the United States. Politicians boast about our demographic dividend. News channels celebrate exam toppers and startup founders. But ask any young Indian: does this country truly belong to us, or are we simply being counted, not heard?
The Crushing Script for Boys
From childhood, Indian boys are handed a rigid and uniform script: top your class, crack JEE or NEET, avoid distractions (especially girls), and never consider pursuing anything outside of physics, chemistry, and math. Your dreams? Save them for another life.
Even students aiming for a career in computer science are evaluated on everything except computer science itself. The JEE syllabus does not test a single line of code, yet it determines your future in the tech industry.
Students become performance machines inside coaching centers, where missing a cutoff by even half a mark can shatter aspirations and the blame is placed solely on them.
Many are pushed into mechanical or civil engineering programs, not by choice, but because computer science seats are limited. Ironically, four years later, nearly everyone ends up in IT jobs regardless of their academic background. If the industry needs coders, why are students made to study thermodynamics?
Even premier institutions like the IITs and IIMs, which were once seen as spaces for innovation, have largely become placement factories.
Students invest lakhs in fees, endure constant academic pressure, and graduate with a job package of six lakh per annum and this is hailed as success.Then comes marriage usually arranged and often hurried. A young man is expected to marry a stranger approved by his family, yet dating someone outside his caste is still taboo.
As Shashi Tharoor rightly observed, “In India, you can piss in public, but not kiss in public.”
For Girls, the Chains Are Tighter
While boys are expected to follow a rigid academic path, girls are often expected to remain invisible while doing it. Do not laugh too loudly. Do not wear shorts. Do not stay out after dark. And certainly do not talk to boys you might damage your “character.”
In many parts of the country, a girl’s puberty is marked by elaborate ceremonies. These rituals are not celebrations of maturity, but formal signals of restriction. Her freedom of movement is curtailed, her interactions are monitored, and her ambitions are pushed aside to maintain modesty.
Even those who achieve top scores in entrance exams such as 650 plus in NEET are often denied admission to prestigious colleges because they are “too far” or considered “unsafe.” Academic brilliance is not enough to override concerns about family honor. As a result, many girls are placed in lower tier colleges close to home.
Marriage becomes another ritual of compliance. Serve tea to strangers. Smile politely. Keep your head bowed. Her consent is rarely considered; silence is preferred. And while dowry is illegal, it is still demanded discreetly through whispered conversations and silent bank transfers.
After marriage, her career and education are frequently sidelined. Motherhood often follows soon after, whether or not she feels emotionally or professionally ready. In many families, a married woman no longer has autonomy over her own body.
The Silent Weapon: Emotional Blackmail
Beyond social pressure lies an even more manipulative force: emotional blackmail from within the family. Phrases like “What will people say?” or “We sacrificed everything for you” are commonly used to coerce young people into compliance. And for those who dare to resist, harsher consequences await.
Honor killings, a term that is deeply misleading, continue to occur in various parts of the country. These acts are not about honor, but about fear, control, and a refusal to allow young people their freedom. A more accurate term would be 'cowardice killings.
So, Are We Really a Youth Led Nation?
Having a large youth population does not make a country youth driven. A truly youth led nation would trust its young people with decisions rather than burden them with societal expectations. It would support their passions, not limit them to engineering or medicine. It would encourage them to question, explore, and innovate not merely obey.
We must stop romanticizing India’s youth as the “future” while denying them dignity in the present.
Until we dismantle these outdated norms, and until personal freedom is more than a constitutional checkbox, India may remain a nation with a young face but an old soul wearing a mask of modernity.